Updated: Aug 8
We struggle so much during our lives with what it is that we do. What we want to be when we grow up, what learnings we must achieve so we can earn an income that will lead us toward financial wealth.
I know I grew up around adults who had an expectation of what I would be when I grew up. I know that my children had an even higher expectation from society to be something, to study toward something, to go to university so they could complete an education of superiority.
What if we were taught to just be who we be. What if we were guided on a path of self-discovery when we are young, so that in our young adulthood we are much nearer to knowing what it is that drives and motivates us each day. It’s exciting for me to watch people around me (myself included) discovering their worth and value to the planet. Leaving behind the expectation from society, to be a certain thing, understanding that the value we give to the planet is not in earning a huge income from a 9-5 job, but in being true to ourselves, however this may look.
We live our lifetime abiding by the expectations of others. Our parents, our teachers, our churches, our friends, etc etc. Our schools are designed to teach children that fit into the design of one organisation – The Ministry of Education, ie. Government. Those children whom do not comply within the education design, are generally left to fall through the system often burdening the welfare structures. If we stray outside of societies construct, we are labelled as ‘crazy’ therefore we fear the connection to our true self. It is not until we find peace within ourselves that we are comfortable enough to stray outside of the societal box and rise above the ‘crazy’ label.
As a child, I always knew I was different from the majority. I certainly did not fit into the education programme. My parents believing that they knew what was best for me, insisted I complied to their believe systems. No matter how hard I tried, I was not able to understand the methods of learning our schools provided. No matter how hard I tried, I was not able to excel in a workforce of dog eat dog attitude. As a young mother undertaking part-time study, I soon discovered that I was far from the unteachable label I had been provided with in school. All tertiary education I undertook, lead me to discover that I was a highly qualified learner – once I was able to establish my own learning style. As I aged, I began to understand more and more that my work philosophy was also different to the majority. And now, with my children grown and the lessons of my past, I not only have learnt to love and value myself, I have also accepted that I am a very long distance from fitting into the general code of society. And I believe that there are many more like me who are still constrained by this code.
We are confused by what authenticity is. I remember my parents telling me to be myself – to not do what others do, don’t dress as others do etc. Yet on the other hand they controlled my life with a very firm hold. So I was to be myself, providing I was the self that they wanted me to be? Don’t get me wrong, I totally understand that my parents were doing for me what they thought was best. Just like the monkey who put the fish in a tree, insisting that he was helping. I am most certain that I am guilty of doing the same to my children by refusing to buy them phones, Play Stations and other ideals their friends grew up with, simply because I felt that I knew it was best for them.
The online Dictionary says authenticity is “of undisputed origin and not a copy; genuine”. It is indeed difficult to discover our undisputed origin when we are so deeply controlled by our surroundings. There are many suggestions found within Uncle Google on how to be authentic, but reading an article is not going to help you discover self-value. It is a journey of our very own uniqueness in which we must commit to undertake, be willing to scry the depths of our emotions, fears and dreams.
We are encouraged more and more to spend time everyday meditating. This helps to discover the authentic self….. The image we conjure up around meditation is of sitting with our legs folded beneath us for 30 minutes with eyes closed, in a state of deep trance. This is how it works for the majority, but once again I do not fit this mould. On the 20th second of my eyes being closed, just like a light switch, I’m in a deep sleep, never mind a trance! Although this is a nice way to relax when required, it’s not something I practice on a regular basis. Meditation to me is a freeing of the mind, allowing the mind to be still so that I am able to listen to my heart. This can be whilst I sit with my early morning coffee, while I drive, shower or watch a sun set/rise. I could even say that writing these blogs is a form of meditation for me. To write, I release the chatter of my mind and allow the words to flow from the instinctive self. In the days when I wrote with the mind chatter, I lacked flow because I was forcing words. I struggled with languaging and what exactly to say because I strived for perfection and wrote from the ego. Today, I write from the authenticity of who I be.
I accept that I do not fit the mould of society, in fact I celebrate that. I accept that I am a being made of the planet and I celebrate that. I understand that I have a mission whilst I tread this earth and I intend to fulfill that mission in a way which is uniquely my own. I understand that any judgement which may be directed toward me, is never about me, but about the person making said judgement. I am blessed to be who I be and I am honored to be on this path to fulfill my mission.
My desire is that each of you also are able to take a journey of self-discovery, self-love and self-value. May you find your true worth in this world and live the dreams you dreamed when you were young. May you discover freedom from fear, judgement and self-criticism. May you find the true meaning of freedom, love and self.
Kia Kaha x