Updated: Aug 8
Expectations are not only a limiting belief, they are also a limiting factor.
I’d really like you to take a moment to absorb this and consider how your expectations may be affecting your now. If you have expectations on a person, an event, an object, a moment – even if they are subconscious - what limitations are you placing on that person, event, moment, object? What amazingness are you blocking?
Allow me to provide examples to help explain: A friend of mine recently showed signs of early depression. Her energy was low, her posture was drooped, her mind was closed. I provided the space and opportunity to share her thoughts and she spoke of her brand-new relationship. I knew she had been very excited about this relationship, so I asked her the question. “What expectations are you putting on this relationship/person?”
Naturally at first there was denial, until the truth of the question sunk into her soul. When she very first met this person, she held any potential relationship in high regard. Right there she was putting expectations down, be it to the person, the relationship, or both. Once she was able to realize that and let go of the expectations, she was then able to move into a more positive space, both for herself and her relationship.
I also very clearly remember a weekend my husband and I took a random break in Auckland. (Why Auckland you ask – well that’s another story!) For a pair who have lived and raised a family in little ole Rotorua for the last 20+ years, taking a trip to modern Auckland is a wee bit of an eye opener. Everything we did, everywhere we went, there appeared to be obstacles for us to work through. Although we constantly chanted at each other to keep calm I got to a point where I was ready to turn the whole experience upside down. Fortunately, I had the insight to take a moment and consider my options which is when I realized I had been putting expectations on the weekend and my husband. I really was at a point of high stress levels and ready to hide under the duvet until it was time to go home. Once I stepped back, took a breath and let go of all expectations, we were able to have a fun weekend. During our drive home at the end of our break, I turned to my husband and said something like “Well that was a team building experience!” We laughed about that weekend for a long time, and only because I was able to let go of the limiting expectations I had been (subconsciously) holding on to.
Is it fair to have expectations of a person? An event? An object, a moment, a situation?
Is it fair to have expectations of yourself?
I challenge you to take moments throughout your day and consider any expectations you may have. Any and all of them. Now, don’t just put them aside, let them go completely.
How does that feel?